Rhythms of a Super Simple Homeschool: The Spiritual Practice of Slowing

Welcome to the Super Simple Homeschool podcast where we help you find purpose in your homeschool, while keeping it super simple.

I’m your host, Jenny Hedrick, homeschool mama of 3 and mental health therapist of 20 years. Today, we are going to continue our discussion on rhythms. In the last episode we talked about the practical rhythms that help simplify our homeschool. I also want to share the spiritual rhythms that help keep me sane. And I mean that in the most literal of ways.

When I first left my career in mental health to stay home and homeschool my kids, I didn’t really embrace my role as home-maker, educator, and full-time mama. I didn’t really understand God’s call on my life and as such I spent a lot of time searching and striving for something to fulfill me. I kept us busy, because in my heart I believed that if I slowed down, I just might melt into oblivion. That may sound extreme, but I didn’t know how to define myself and my own sense of significance without a career. In many ways, I had been programmed by culture to believe that being a stay at home mom wasn’t enough.

I tried starting an online business, writing a blog, creating a presence on social media, and when those things didn’t work, I kept my brood busy with daily activities- trips to the library, the park, rec-center classes, the climbing gym, etc.

Then, COVID. We live in Colorado, which had pretty strict regulations as far as masking and stay-at-home orders and all that. People would tell me, “you are so lucky that you homeschool, this is just normal for you.” What they meant was, you already do school at home. This was not normal for anyone. And staying at home all the time was definitely NOT normal for me.

We had just moved into a new house, so for a little while that provided something to keep me busy. But guys, the PARKS were closed. PARKS! All the features had caution tape around them. Like, SERIOUSLY?!

So we stayed home. Besides my parents and siblings, we had ONE family that we got together with. ONE. This meant that as a family, we were together. At home. All the time. Always.

And ya know what happened? I didn’t melt into oblivion.

I actually enjoyed being around my kids. We got bored, then found things to do with our time. I started to learn what it meant to be a homemaker- to create space for the people in my charge to thrive, to rest, and to grow.

We slowed down.

It did take me a while, but I eventually found that I liked it. I really liked it. And the more I learned to find my significance in my position in Christ, the freer I felt to be present for my family.

I’ve been on a journey ever since, growing a bit more each year as I learn how to slow down, incorporating some important spiritual rhythms into my life and the life of my family.

Why we need to Slow Down

As I was writing this episode, preparing to go into those spiritual rhythms, I quickly realized that there was something else I needed to address first. There is a specific spiritual PRACTICE that is the foundation of all the rhythms I am going to talk about. It’s the practice of SLOWING.

I have realized over the last year especially, that in order to allow for spiritual rhythms, we need to slow down. John Ortberg describes the importance of slowing in his book, The Life You’ve Always Wanted. He states:

“It is because it kills love that hurry is the great enemy of spiritual life. Hurry lies behind much of the anger and frustration of modern life. Hurry prevents us from receiving love from the Father or giving it to his children. That’s why Jesus never hurried. If we are to follow Jesus, we must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from our lives—because, by definition, we can’t move faster than the one we are following.”

Jesus didn’t hurry. In fact, he regularly escaped the crowds and his busy speaking schedule to rest. Mark 6:31 says “Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, ‘Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.’” He taught the disciples to take a break, WITH HIM, to find rest.

As a Christian woman, you probably are all too familiar with the story of Mary and Martha. Martha opens her home to Jesus and the disciples, then busies herself with all the work of preparing the food, cleaning the house, etc. As she runs around in a frenzy, her sister Mary is sitting contentedly as Jesus’ feet listening to him teach. How many of you can relate to Martha’s frustration with Mary? Yet Jesus reminds Martha that Mary has chosen the better way. He says “You are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed–or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:41-42 NIV

How often do we busy ourselves with caring for the home, schooling our kids and extracurricular activities, all while missing out on the chance to sit at the feet of our Lord? All those things may be good, but are they taking priority over what is BEST? Busyness is the enemy of connection: with God, with the people we love, and with the world around us.

Jesus beckons us to find our rest in him. In Matthew 11:28 he says “Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

This yoke that Jesus refers to- it’s confusing at times, isn’t it? After all, we don’t really use yokes in our daily lives- I mean, I do eat a lot of eggs- but it’s not that kind of yoke.

An article on GotQuestions.com explains this. It says, “[Jesus]isn’t speaking here of physical burdens. Rather, it was the heavy burden of the system of works that the Pharisees laid on the backs of the people that Jesus was offering to relieve. Later on in Matthew’s Gospel, Jesus will rebuke the Pharisees for laying heavy burdens on the shoulders of the people.”

What Jesus is talking about is finding our rest in him, in salvation through GRACE, not works, so we can let go of all our anxious striving, the striving that ultimately leads us to, like Martha, be worried and upset about many things, all while missing THE MAIN THING. JESUS

So how do we practice the discipline of slowing?

I will be the first to tell you that I do not get this right, most of the time. I, like you, am a work in progress. Even as I am preparing this episode, I am in the middle of the busiest 2 months I’ve had in a while. We leave for a trip tomorrow and the last few days I have felt like a chicken with it’s head cut off. As I am learning how to do better at slowing, here are some things I’ve realized.

First, slowing requires margin. Without margin, you risk a schedule that is so tight that you can’t help but rush. If one thing changes, the whole thing falls apart. Leaving time between your activities allows for the changes that inevitably come up. But margin isn’t just about leaving space on your calendar.

Building margin into your schedule means taking an audit of your activities and making time for the essential first. Then, determine what your family needs. Do you need a day to get things done around the house? Do you need time every afternoon to work on chores and prepare dinner? Perhaps you need to start your day later so you can have a slow morning. Maybe you need to keep your evenings free for long family dinners and games around the table.

Second, slowing requires a conscious decision to slow down. Sounds obvious, right? It’s incredible how easy it actually is to slide into hurry and rushing. Slowing down is counter cultural in a big way. Because of this, it takes a certain intention to take your time. Be slow and deliberate while preparing a meal. Drive UNDER the speed limit. Purposefully get in the long checkout lane while shopping. See waiting as an opportunity for connection or as a breather in your day instead of a barrier to getting things done.

The Body Knows

Remember how I said busyness is the enemy of connection? We actually have a connection hormone, oxytocin. It’s one of the 4 feel-good hormones. Most commonly known for its role in labor and delivery, this hormone can give us some clues to our body’s need to slow down.

Low oxytocin levels have been linked to depression. It’s no wonder, since oxytocin is the result of connection, and lack of connection is also a symptom of depression. It’s a negative feedback loop.

In the same way, the release of oxytocin actually promotes more oxytocin production and release. A positive feedback loop. This has tremendous implications for our mood and overall well-being.

So how do we increase our oxytocin without having a baby? Long hugs, snuggling, massage, sharing a meal with friends, kissing, and sex, all increase oxytocin. What do all of those things require? Slowing down. A hurried heart doesn’t have time for long hugs, snuggles, or good conversation.

When we hurry, we miss crucial opportunities for connection, and we suffer for it.

Practical Application of Slowing

John Ortberg defined slowing as “cultivating patience by deliberately choosing to place ourselves in positions where we simply have to wait.”

Oi. Anyone else hate waiting? Two hands raised here! Changing my mindset about waiting has been a crucial step in my process of learning to slow down.

John Mark Comer offers 20 specific ways to practice slowing in his book The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry. These include showing up early to an appointment without your phone, single-tasking instead of multi-tasking, keeping a journal, and cooking your own food. By doing things to intentionally force your body to slow down, you are acknowledging your existence as a whole person, body AND soul. By slowing our bodies, we leave space for our hearts and souls to slow down as well.

Slowing is the Foundation for Spiritual Rhythms

Hopefully by now you can see the importance of slowing down, and why it is necessary to consider before going into other spiritual rhythms. Slowing is the spiritual practice that makes spiritual rhythms possible. Join me for the next episode, where I’ll share some of our spiritual rhythms in Part 3 of Rhythms of a Super Simple Homeschool.

Thanks for listening to this episode of the Super Simple Homeschool podcast. For more resources, please visit our website at supersimplehomeschool.net. Don’t forget to follow us on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss a future episode.